I bought a ticket to MRW14 as I have every single year, but with the thought in my head that ill go out and not feel comfortable, or end up coming home as my anxiety of socialising still looms large.
Work commitments kicked in which meant i had to work thu/fri so I only was out Saturday and Sunday, so I missed out on Drone and my plan to wear my full rubber suit with rubber pig hood, but given the heat that weekend I’m not sure i would have lasted without a trough to bathe in! The Sunday was also Fathers day so I knew would have to take a trip over to see my folks at some point on the Sunday.
Tyke, Starkey, Champion and Mark were all staying over at mine and this helped me because @pupnutrix couldn’t make the event as had prior plans away for his best friends birthday.
This meant i was solo, and that’s when i usually feel at my most vulnerable. I’m tall, and I stand out and I know that i spent the first 30 years of my life hiding my kinks and being gay in the closet and its hard to bring them out and not feel that deep pit of anxiety of being “discovered” that i had so many times as a kid, having a wank, buying a gay times, it was quite a length of time feeling that i was abnormal, and i hate that i wasted the first part of my life being like that.
I love hanging out with the Tskin pack, they are a few people who ask me to go out and do stuff with them and I love their company. For someone with anxiety like me, trust me the best thing you can do is invite someone to just hang with you. You can also introduce them to pup play, which is where Zalo comes into his own masking my face and insecurities and bringing out the fun side of my play.
I went to the markets on Sunday held in Sub101 which were better than they have been in other years. Invincible Rubber looked to be the main gear exhibitor there, with quite a bit of new gear to purchase, however the black and red hoodie that i tried on was marked as XL but they must be small fits because id probably need an XXL. It was a good place for me to socialise and to meet up with a few people that I hadnt seen in years, both on canal street, and then inside Sub101 where the market was held. We were out in just cotton gear t-shirts which kept my anxiety down a little.
One of the stallholders was selling what looked like crystal-glass cut kink windows. I hadn’t seen these before so obviously wanted one that looked like sox, and so I bought @pupnutrix a stained glass mobile of a lad sat on his knees with his ass, cap and socks on which looks good even in stained glass as the sun does literally shine out his ass!
Rubber has always been so so sexy to me, I remember my first Manchester pride i attended and the rubber men literally had my jaw drop to the floor and rubber purchases (i mean i had everything else, skin, leather, footy kit, rugby kit, workwear and suits) i bought just felt amazing as i discovered pup play and adorned a rubber hood and rubber gear. Of course, playing in rubber means that an expensive garment can get torn, or wear out the glue, or stain and ive had plenty of replacement suits and gear and now prefer vest and trousers/shorts mostly.
After a post-shopping and regroup and change we started our Saturday night as we stood out on the street outside Rem. It was nice to be surrounded and feel safe with a group of friends and i had planned to be hoodless all weekend. I went out as a handler, hoping to maybe get to put someone on my lead and make then my pup for while. Id packed my hood though just in case i needed Zalo to put in an appearance. Ive put my own gallery of pics I managed to take at the end of the article.
Standing outside the REM is a clear socialising point when it comes to events in Manchester. It was busy – and again I saw lots of faces i recognised but few that said hello or allowed my glancing to at least mouth hello to them. After a couple of hours we went over to Darkcell, which had been renamed PopCell and DarkCell, and there as people met others and I stood there, I decided I needed Zalo to cheer me up, and hence hood came on – immediately my mood cheered, and I danced and felt in better spirits immediately,
I put on a brunch on the Sunday and had friends over to try the vacuum cube i bought years ago. Looked like a Borg cube in the corner of the living room, resistance was futile for any rubber drone who would be drawn and assimilated into it. Tyke and Starkey helped set it up and although i didn’t get to try it we got 3 sexy boys in it. If anyone wants to try, the admission price is just sox n trainers to sniff whilst u enjoy 😉
